went for my second round of interview for LTA on Monday, which turned out to be a tea session that didnt exactly involve tea sipping and breadcrumbs and biscuit bits carelessly dropping from the corner of your mouth. sad to say, public speaking is not my forte as much as I love to discuss issues and share my opinions, and even more so in front of many guys. well yes, even someone like me who "rather intimidate and socialize" have trouble giving my cents' worth on issues in front of the opposite sex. or perhaps there is no irony in it at all cos I am perfectly fine with being anti-social and not talking.

maybe it's just my hyper-sensitivity, but I thought the LTA guy was looking at me as he said in his most encouraging tone that we should all be honoured to have been shortlisted as the top...18? or 20 or wtv, from more than a hundred applicants.

i guess I can pretty much forget about a second miracle cos practically everyone else there was from Hwa Chong or Raffles, and they are all really outstanding people who give very constructive opinions and have the cca and academic results to back them up. maybe i got to the second round of interview because of my enthusiasm to join the LTA, but even that crazed fanatism about incorporating the works of LTA in the Third World is not enough to surpass what the other candidates can offer. it looks like they are all pretty hyped up about joining the LTA, cos some really just had ways to divert discussion topics on the works of the organization to promoting themselves as scholars!

well nvm i shall cut the pessimistic talk.

yesterday it was raining cats and dogs (hmm, haven used it since entering secondary school!) and I garnered the courage to ask a stranger if she wanted me to shelter her across to wherever she wanted to go. dont ask me why I have to even gather the guts to HELP people, but yeah, I often do when they are strangers, and i guess that's pretty much the reason I am not gonna get the LTA scholarship:/ she was very thankful, and we chatted as I sheltered her to her destination.. it struck me how chance meetings with strangers can often prompt better conversations than with people you actually know.

perhaps, behind that cold, defensive look of most singaporeans is just a warm, talkative self... haha i dunno, but looking back, I probably had this annoyed expression on my face (like how my colleague Peggy said she was scared of me at first cos I looked "fierce") and the lady i sheltered across had that similar expression. but it all dissipated in a second.. humans. haha