mum's birthday is approaching, and im wondering what there is to celebrate and how to, when everything's still broken. i hate it when people wallow in self pity and think that their sorrow is the greatest pain anyone else can feel, when it is all self inflicted and a mere exaggeration of things on their own part. life can be simple, why do you have to go mess it all up? not just for yourself but for everyone else.

the more i hear and see the more numb i feel. sometimes i dont even wanna protect you any longer. If even God helps only those who seek it, what more can I do when you're just one of those who chooses to adamantly abide by delusions?