Friday, March 30, 2007
my family's in a mess these days and it's no thanks to a motherfucker son of a bitch. I've always told myself to never insult another's parents, but he deserves it. i've never bore such intense hatred for anybody to the point where i would take a knife and stab him to death if not for the fact that i will only ruin my own future. nobody fucking plays with my family, above all my parents, and hurt them this way. and it only makes me bear the same rancour for those who love him.
i come to work these days feeling much more weary than before and it stings me to know that the burden is way heavier on my parents. they are my parents, mine. you have no right to hurt them, bastard, and you have no fucking right to treat them like dirt even if you would allow yourself to be.
and sometimes people wallow in self-pity so much that they delude themselves into thinking that their lives would be better that way but they dont realize that they are bringing ostracization upon themselves. and then they come crying that this estrangement is a result of coerce, which is not, because all along you had a fucking choice.
************************************************************************************
i screwed up my LTA interview big time. i might as well have just donned a clownsuit to the interview. as i left the room i could imagine the three men laughing and and crying "What a bozzo!". The interview went like this:
-steps into the room, seesthe three interviewers seated down, a bit puzzled-
me: "Hiiii good afternooon!! I'm supposed to shake your hands, right?"
men: -laugh and shake my hand-
man 2: "hi good afternoon! so did you have a hard time finding the place?"
me: "oh no..! I have a very good sense of direction!"
men: -silence-
man2: "so, SeeChing.. how much do you know about the LTA?"
me: "oh I know a lot!! I did my research!! --rattles on-
...
man 2: "So what do you think about the ERP?"
me: "oh i know it's a much disliked policy but i think it is essential to avoid congestion on the expressways.....-blah- and anyway, LTA needs a source of revenue also! and it's jus $3--$4 only..."
man2: "ok... -blah- but jus to let you know, the ERP is not a source of revenur for the LTA."
me: "oh ok sorry."
....
me: "Actually I am very interested in bringing LTA's works to the Third World where efficient transport is severely lacking.... -blah-
man1: "well actually we are currenly providing such aid to a couple of Third World countries in this aspect.... but ultimately it depends on whether the government is able to pay..."
me: "oh thats why i'm here!!! I can draw up proposals to the UN on behalf of the LTA....-blah-"
yes i can so forget about being an LTA scholar:/
i come to work these days feeling much more weary than before and it stings me to know that the burden is way heavier on my parents. they are my parents, mine. you have no right to hurt them, bastard, and you have no fucking right to treat them like dirt even if you would allow yourself to be.
and sometimes people wallow in self-pity so much that they delude themselves into thinking that their lives would be better that way but they dont realize that they are bringing ostracization upon themselves. and then they come crying that this estrangement is a result of coerce, which is not, because all along you had a fucking choice.
************************************************************************************
i screwed up my LTA interview big time. i might as well have just donned a clownsuit to the interview. as i left the room i could imagine the three men laughing and and crying "What a bozzo!". The interview went like this:
-steps into the room, seesthe three interviewers seated down, a bit puzzled-
me: "Hiiii good afternooon!! I'm supposed to shake your hands, right?"
men: -laugh and shake my hand-
man 2: "hi good afternoon! so did you have a hard time finding the place?"
me: "oh no..! I have a very good sense of direction!"
men: -silence-
man2: "so, SeeChing.. how much do you know about the LTA?"
me: "oh I know a lot!! I did my research!! --rattles on-
...
man 2: "So what do you think about the ERP?"
me: "oh i know it's a much disliked policy but i think it is essential to avoid congestion on the expressways.....-blah- and anyway, LTA needs a source of revenue also! and it's jus $3--$4 only..."
man2: "ok... -blah- but jus to let you know, the ERP is not a source of revenur for the LTA."
me: "oh ok sorry."
....
me: "Actually I am very interested in bringing LTA's works to the Third World where efficient transport is severely lacking.... -blah-
man1: "well actually we are currenly providing such aid to a couple of Third World countries in this aspect.... but ultimately it depends on whether the government is able to pay..."
me: "oh thats why i'm here!!! I can draw up proposals to the UN on behalf of the LTA....-blah-"
yes i can so forget about being an LTA scholar:/
ching gave some lovin' at
3:40 PM;
3:40 PM;
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
freaking annoyed by my co-workers at ModusLink. They practically play games/chat on MSN the moment they come to work EVEN WHEN THERE'S WORK TO DO. now they are Maple-ling for goodness sake like HOW OLD ARE U, 17 to 21?!! and it's not like they are quiet when they play.. they make hellotta noise like it;s some PLAYGROUP. then there's always the repulsive flirt who slaps on tons of make up which fails to make her look any better and doesnt seem to realize that the guys are like, 4 years younger than her. And there's this guy who's actually pretty nice but his singing is irritating the shit out of me because he sings horrible chinese songs in a horrible voice which he doesnt seem to realize, sucks like shit. I's like listening to Wiliam Hung over and over again ok? At first it's funny, but later u star to ge really cheezed off. gosh these people need to get a life cos they are slacking 24/7 and leaving the workload to others in particular loh and sometimes me.
bloody bozos.
there's no love in the workplace, ok?
ching
bloody bozos.
there's no love in the workplace, ok?
ching
ching gave some lovin' at
5:58 PM;
5:58 PM;
Friday, March 09, 2007
In recent years I often find myself building this defensive wall whenever I am in a new environment, not eager to interact with people I don't know. Anti-social is the word, eh? I thought about it on my way home from work just now, and i realized that it's not because I dont like to talk with people; in fact, I love a good conversation any day. What holds me back is the perception that no one is really nice the more you grow up. It may be mere skepticism on my part and perhaps I shouldnt be so cynical, but ever since I stepped into JC, I've seen enough to shed the secondary school innocent belief that most people are genuinely nice. so many people are nice towards you because they want something from you, or they think they can somehow gain something. so nowadays I dont really bother with acquaintances anymore. I've come to realize that at the end of the day, you just need those few real friends whom you know will be there for you when you meet a crisis. Friends whom you can share a comfortable silence with. I don't see the point in being friends with people who are there for the moment, just so you wouldnt look like a loner, or just for the sake of mindless talk and 'girl fun'.
That's why I have cher and hwei, cos they're the best girl friends that one can ever have;) these are the durable and everlasting friends like 3-in-1 coffeepowder. :X
Of course, it doesnt mean that I think reclusing oneself is the best. Yeah I concede that everyone needs friends aside from some true friends. But I still wont give much time to people I don't like or I know aint the type of person I'd wanna befriend. Call me stubborn/hostile/anti-social, but it really makes no sense at all to waste my time on these people.
cher's bday:)
anyway I caught the sneak preview of Frank Miller's 300 with steven and his friends on Wed. I must admit that it's proabably the best movie I've ever watched, along with Pan's Labyrinth and The Departed. I thought the depiction of Asians as promiscuous slave-drivers with repugnantly hideous faces was a lil discriminating though. The narrator or whoever says "...Asia's best fighting force" and you see the scene change to these weirdo metal masked men and some deformed looking monsters and I'm like 'eh? I dont look like that can?' haha. But it's just a movie la. Anyway I usually cringe at gore, but in 300, the gore's definitely justified. And I love the war cries haha.
love!
ching
That's why I have cher and hwei, cos they're the best girl friends that one can ever have;) these are the durable and everlasting friends like 3-in-1 coffeepowder. :X
Of course, it doesnt mean that I think reclusing oneself is the best. Yeah I concede that everyone needs friends aside from some true friends. But I still wont give much time to people I don't like or I know aint the type of person I'd wanna befriend. Call me stubborn/hostile/anti-social, but it really makes no sense at all to waste my time on these people.
cher's bday:)anyway I caught the sneak preview of Frank Miller's 300 with steven and his friends on Wed. I must admit that it's proabably the best movie I've ever watched, along with Pan's Labyrinth and The Departed. I thought the depiction of Asians as promiscuous slave-drivers with repugnantly hideous faces was a lil discriminating though. The narrator or whoever says "...Asia's best fighting force" and you see the scene change to these weirdo metal masked men and some deformed looking monsters and I'm like 'eh? I dont look like that can?' haha. But it's just a movie la. Anyway I usually cringe at gore, but in 300, the gore's definitely justified. And I love the war cries haha.
love!
ching
ching gave some lovin' at
8:06 PM;
8:06 PM;